Monday, December 17, 2007

Another Mother's Joy

I frequently visit a blog of a lady I do not know but love to "love." She writes from the heart, and I understand her so very well.

I have begun yet another week nauseated and annoyed at feeling so bad so much of the time. It has gotten better, don't get me wrong, but I think my patience is running thin and my endurance is lagging. Reading this blog of her's tonight made me smile and made me remember what all this is for in the long run.

Thanks, Antique Mommy!

Taken from her blog entry, "Bucket of Love"

Wednesday it was cold and damp and rainy. Everything, including my mood was gray, as though someone had pulled the plugged and drained all the color out of my world.
As I’m driving Sean to school, the noise of tires swooshing through the water and the rhythemic scrape and skritch of my windshield wipers are the only sound in the car.
I pull up to a stop light and look in the rearview mirror at that little boy, snuggled into his car seat. He is thoughtfully tracing the path of a raindrop with his finger on the window. For some reason, the profile of his face peeking out from the hood of his coat is so sweet that it pricks my heart. I feel my heart swell and my eyes begin to sting with tears. He doesn’t know that I am watching him.
“Sean,” I hear myself say, “I love you so much, so much more than you can even imagine. I know you are only four and you can’t really understand that.”
“Oh,” he says quietly without diverting his gaze from the window. “I understand.”
After a long pause, he asks, “Does Daddy love me too?”
He knows his daddy loves him. I’m not sure why he is asking this question.
“Oh yes, Sean, Daddy loves you so much that sometimes it makes him cry.”
“Oh.”
Long pause. I can see him thinking.
“Does Daddy love me more than you?”
This time the long pause belongs to me.
“Well, Sean, things like love and pain are not really quantifiable. Daddy loves me from the wife bucket and he loves you from the little boy bucket. And those buckets are bottomless and always overflowing.”
“Oh.”
Long pause.
“Well if you get a hole in your bucket,” he said, “then I will give you some love from my bucket.”
Sometimes the things he says, makes my brain stop. Makes my heart stop. Makes my world stop.
Just then the car behind me is honking loudly and angrily. The light had turned green. The tears that had gathered in my eyes quickly evaporate.
I pushed on the gas and moved forward into the world of gray, except for the very bright spot of sunshine that is sitting in my backseat tracing a raindrop with his finger.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

My EYES!!!

Tonight we ventured out to our first Baylor basketball game of the season with Coby's parents. It was very exciting, and although we lost, those Bears gave it a good fight!!!

The game started at 8:00, which, needless to say, means Skyler started the night pretty tired. But, she was all about the game. She "Sic 'em Bears!!" a few times, crawled all over us, and even jumped up and down like a mad woman on my lap for the last five minutes of the game. She said, "This was very fun, Mommy!" and gave an approving drowsy nod as we went to the car.

We sat...and sat...and sat for a long while in line waiting for our turn to leave the parking lot. Skyler was watching A Bug's Life in the back and all of a sudden got frustrated.

"Mommy!" she said. "I can't close my eyes!!!" Bless her heart, she was so torn between the movie and sleep, and her eye muscles were so tired from trying to stay open that I literally think they were frozen in place. Finally after a few minutes of her whining annoyance, I said, "Skyler, it's okay to close your eyes. You can still hear the movie."

"Ok, Mommy."

Within seconds she was asleep. That girl of mine!! She sure is hillarious!! :)

Monday, November 26, 2007

Spirit-Led Parenting

I am very grateful that I had parents that were spirit-filled believers growing up. My mom and dad weren't in the "hype" of any movement, nor did they go to extremes in most any direction. But they did believe and teach me the importance of the Holy Spirit, who He is, how Jesus was my savior, and that my utter dependance was on God my Father alone. It was a good, firm, solid foundation, one which stood the test of time and much questioning as I grew into a pre-teen, teenager, and then young adult. I will say that for me, living on what my parents said was never enough; I had to experience God and the multiple facets of his person for myself. But I'm very thankful that when I read the scripture, "Ask and these things will be given to you," I took them literally in the context of figuring out this abstract, hard-to-describe God and the relationship He wanted me to have with him. I have always been one to cry out to God to reveal himself to me, starting very young, and I have never been disappointed.

Now as a parent, I'm experiencing a new facet of my sweet Abba Father that is taking me a little while to work through. From what I'm told, it will take a lifetime of learning. The new experience for me is understanding the in's and out's of what a true, loving parent is to their children. My standard is my God. My example is my heavenly Father. Should I strive to love my children as God loves me? By all means, and yet to even begin is to fail miserably. How can I love Skyler and my little Popcorn with a fraction of the love He has for me? How can I train and teach...how can I measure up?

I guess truth be told, I can't. BUT, I can try. I can let my motivation and my inspiration be to please my Father in heaven with the way I train up my children here on earth. And am I ever thankful that I have his grace!!!

Quite an introduction to a fairly short story, but a poignant one I feel at the place I and many of you probably are in your lives right now. Last week I had my first true spiritual test in Spirit-Led Parenting. Skyler has been struggling with a lot of fear lately, to the point that it had become almost immobilizing for her. She wouldn't even go in her room to play by herself.

On one particular morning, she was following me around the house pretty panic-stricken while I was trying to get some things picked up. I realized she was really struggling and sat her down for a conversation.

"Skyler, why do you want me to hold you right now? Why don't you want to play."

And in her biggest, bravest 2 1/2 year old voice, she said, "Mommy, I just need to hold you."

"I know, Skyler, but why?"

At this point she couldn't be brave any longer and burst into big tears...

"Mommy, I'm just very afraid!"

I saw a little Adrielle in those big, brown eyes and remembered times when I was small and very afraid. Fear was (and still is) a very hard thing for me to get over. It was difficult for me to separate real from fake at times, and even harder to get over the fears of my mind, however unjustified. I suffered with some serious paranoias as a child and pre-teen, and I was very thankful that in addition to seeing some helpful doctors, I had parents that prayed me through those times and taught me that I had victory over the Enemy. My parents instructed me how to pray and what to do when fear overwhelmed me. And now, as a Mommy, it was my turn.

I began to panic. I have always believed very firmly that dismissing fear is wrong. Fear is a real emotion and I never want my children to feel like I don't believe them or that their thoughts, feelings, or emotions are not justified. However, I want to always keep their focus on God's plan for us as believers to overcome these things. But God, what do you say to a two year old? How can I explain all these things? What is important for her to know and not know? Will she understand?

I said a quick prayer and immediately began trying to explain to her that she is safe. God gave her a mommy and daddy to take care of her, and even if she is away from her mommy and daddy, Jesus will protect her. Through a series of Skyler's questions, I felt like I needed to explain that fear comes from the Devil, but that he's just a "little guy" (she associates intimidation with the BIG GUYS of the world right now) and that he was like a little ant. She could just squash him. I quickly realized this was a bad analogy.

"Mommy, I don't want to squash the ant. I don't want to step on him."

LORD!!! "Ok, Skyler, you don't have to." Let's see...

All of a sudden it hit me the importance of KNOWING WHAT I BELIEVE and exactly WHY. My child was looking to me for comfort. I want her to find comfort in me, but more than that, I want her comfort to be in the Lord. I began to over-analyze, trying desperately to find a way to explain.

Then Sky said the most simple, profound, true words of longing, words that could have been spoken from my very mouth in that very moment...

"Mommy, I just want to step on Jesus and I need him to hold me! I want Jesus to hold me!"

I quietly chuckled and saw in my mind's eye my sweet child stepping 'on' Jesus just long enough to reach for his hands as he swept her in his arms and held her tight.

"He can hold you, Skyler, each and every time you're afraid. You may not feel his arms around you like Mommy's arms, but you'll feel him inside when you feel safe. Any time you're afraid, tell Jesus to hold you and he will come."

That's it. It's not complicated or intricate, just a fact, only truly understood when we have the faith of a child.

We went throughout the next few days calling on Jesus to keep us safe, and I'll have to say, it is working. Her level of fear has gone down dramatically, and her demeanor is more peaceful.

And what did I take away from this moment? I'm still a little child, in need of my Savior, in need of my Abba for answers, for peace, and for comfort. In the midst of my very hard emotional days of late, I can just let Jesus hold me.

I want to learn to hear the spirit. I want to be led in training up my children. I don't want that responsibility all on my own. It's good to know I don't have to carry that burden; Jesus can carry me.

Not much in life truly changes, does it?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Halloween Fun













It is so much fun celebrating the seasons with cousins!!! We made a trip up to Flower Mound to Trunk or Treat with Coby's sister and her family, and then went to visit the Original Pumpkin Patch the next day. It was a blast, even though I was nauseous a lot of the time. The kids had a fun time together, and it was neat watching Skyler and Cooper get into it all for the first time and somewhat understand what we were doing. Well, at least they understood the candy part!!!! :) Their matching Jessie and Woody costumes were a hit. Then on Halloween we got together with my brother and his family to eat hot dogs and go to the Fall Festival at Highland. It was very crowded, but I was glad we could have a one-stop-shop to entertain ourselves. Skyler got her first face painting, a pumpkin, which she still reminds me of often. Such fun memories!!!!!

(Sorry the pictures are all out of order. I tried, but I'm still not a pro at this picture inserting stuff.)

Sunday, October 21, 2007

My 30th Birthday

Family is an important thing to me.

I guess it always has been, but I think it is even more important to me as I get older and see all the amazing quiltwork of our lives unfold, both physically and spiritually.

In the personal patchwork of my own life, I was able to add a few "quiltblocks" this weekend. I had a wonderful time sharing with my best friends in the whole world over lunch at Panera, and I actually felt good enough to eat the whole lunch!! Major accomplishment for this prego. Then I had a blast watching my daughter play with all her cousins in the backyard that night and spent the day today with Coby's family just hanging out and being together.

Then tonight, my wonderful Mommy orchestrated a surprise party for me!!! Bless her heart, she had already planned it at a restaurant, but after knowing my desire to just hang out at her house, changed the plans with her husband Ray's help. (Amazing hamburgers, Ray!!!) It was a wonderful surprise with all the people I love and cherish the very most...my family. My mom, siblings, Coby's family, and my best friends. It really, truly was the best!!!

Thank you for coming this weekend everyone! Thank you for blessing me so much with your life, your time, your love, your prayers!!! Raschael, thank you for watching my girl on Saturday and Mom, thank you for making my night so special!!! Thanks Powells, Waters, and Kavalich's for making the trip!! It means a lot to me that you would do that...just for me!

I love you guys!!! I'm excited to keep working on my quilt with you all along the way!

Our Little Popcorn

So my visit at the doctor last Wednesday was great. I was able to see the little heartbeat on the monitor and get all the measurements...only to discover I'm only 8 weeks pregnant. Oh well. And I wanted Skyler and her brother or sister to be close in age, but I wasn't expecting a due date of MAY 26th!!! The day AFTER Skyler turns three!!!! Hopefully this little one will come nine days early like Skyler did!!! :)

Skyler's Latest Funny

The other day, Skyler was sitting next to Coby and me. She all of a sudden stopped what she was saying, looked at me, and said,

"Mommy, I tooted in my mouth!!"

Oh MY GOSH!!!! I nearly fell over. I said, "Did a burp just sneak up on you?" She said, "Yea! That's funny!"

Kids!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

We're Having A BABY!!! (and a re-cap of the last 2 months)












So, FINALLY, here's the big news!!! We're having baby number two!!! YEA!!!!!! Skyler is ecstatic about the chance to be a big sister, and we're glad to oblige! :) I apologize for not blogging in so long...again. This time it has been legitimate. I couldn't blog for awhile because I didn't want any of the Waco crew to give it away to those who didn't know yet that were out of town. And, as par for MY course with babies, it's been puke city!!! :) I didn't start getting sick until I was around 7 weeks (I think--my first pre-natal visit isn't until tomorrow, so we'll know how far along I am for sure then), which was a two week reprieve from when it all started with Skyler.



I would definitely say this pregnancy thing is much harder with a toddler. I'm so much more emotional than before and realize with all that is in me that it's not about me--it's about meeting her needs first. She's been a real trooper, though. Yesterday was pretty good for me, but after our outings to gymnastics and two stores, I was pretty much pooped. I walked in the house and tried to convince her to lay on my bed with me to take a nap, but she just wanted to play. So, in spite of myself and at a loss to know what else to do, I started a Dora and laid on the couch. Pretty soon, she came up to me and rubbed my arm, saying, "You wokay, Mommy." Then she wanted to get up on the couch with me and we quickly fell asleep side by side for about an hour. It was a little piece of mommy heaven, and exactly what I needed in that moment. I truly believe she knew in her little heart what to do to make me feel better. It's a moment I'll treasure for the rest of my life.



So my days pretty much consist of existing until it's time for work. Then I work a few hours and crash early. And even though the nausea and vomiting have been a bummer, I know it is only for a short while. It's a blessing to have another baby on the way, and I'm so thankful that God has given us this opportunity. I am so incredibly blessed beyond what I deserve, and I know it. I just need to remember this very clear fact when I feel so sick. Oh well!!! :)


Other things we've done the past few months in reverse order:

At the end of August we made a trip to Dallas to hang out with our cousins and Skyler made her first Build-A-Bear. It was a smashing hit, and we had SOOOOO much fun playing with aunts, uncles, and cousins!!! She named this bear Krystal the Baylor Bear--appropriately so, don't you think!??

We also went to Skyler's second Baylor game of the season with my friend Tracy, and Skyler had an outing to the zoo with our neighbor Megan and her Mom and new little sister Rebecca. I'm trying to download pix, but the blogger is being difficult, so I'll post them a little later.
All in all, it's been a fun, exciting, and exremely nauseating adventure!! WOOOHOOOOO!!! Skyler swears there's twins in there, and Sassy mentioned the same thing. I guess we'll find out tomorrow. Please keep us all in your prayers through this time. It's been full of memories, but very difficult, and I need grace. Coby is awesome--as usual a wonderful dad and husband. I honestly could not ask for a better parter to walk with on this journey through life. And I will blog as often as I can. Watching the screen makes me a little motion sick, though, so that's all for now. I love you, fellow sisters, friends, and bloggers!!! Thank you for loving me back!!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Tagged by Emily

So, my sweet sister-in-law Emily tagged me forever ago, and I've been off the Blogger radar for a bit--more to come on that later. I'm finally getting all these random facts about me on my blog, and I will then tag some other fellow bloggers...he he he!! This is actually fun. I love this stuff, and it's a bummer I haven't been able to blog it all before now!! Here goes...

The Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their 8 things) and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I've always wanted to be a professional singer. I did get the chance to sing on stage with Hillsong a few years ago and got to visit and pray with them backstage, which is one of the highlights of my life. Singing is a passion and I think recording, performing, and being in that world for awhile would have been great. However, I think it would also get really old really quick. There is more to my life than singing, and although I'm not knocking singers or the lifestyles they live, especially those that are Christian artists who really feel called to ministry in music, being in the spotlight all the time would certainly be draining. I think I'll be content to sing in my car. Speaking of singing....

2. The first year of American Idol, the judges actually had a pretty huge audition in Waco. The concept was little known and a number of people from Waco went to the finals in Dallas. The odds were in a Wacoan's favor!!!! I almost went to the auditions, but I decided to go out to school and grade papers instead. I could have sung with Kelly Clarkson!!! Gosh!!

3. I've also wanted to be a motivational speaker. Hmmm....

4. I lived in Ulan-Ude, Russia for a month the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. It was an awesome, life-changing time for me to be with some missionary friends, to enjoy a new culture, and more than anything to get to know my God on an intimate level like never before. It was amazing, and I think truly prepared me for some of the most heartbreaking losses of my life that would come later. That time cemented for me that God is my ever-present, constant companion. He is the lover of my soul, and when all others fail me, when all else is gone, he will not forsake me, he will be my strong tower.

5. I knew I was going to date my husband one day when I met him at church when I was fourteen. He doesn't remember the day at all, but I've got witnesses!!! :) I didn't know that I would marry him later on, but I'm so very thankful that I did!!!

6. One of my feet looks exactly like my mom's and the other foot looks exactly like my dad's. Also, I have one ear lobe that is attached and one that is not, which I understand is a genetic anomoly. Who knew!

7. I had Lasik surgery on my eyes a few years ago. It was the best investment I've ever made--I was almost legally blind and had terminal Great Papillary Conjunctivitus (sounds bad, doesn't it!) and would never have been able to wear contacts again. I've actually begun saving money now on eye expenses--my prescription was so bad that we figured in the amount I'd spend in glasses, contacts, and solutions over a three year period would be about the same amount as my surgery. Good investment!!!

8. I drove a white Chevy Lumina throughout college and into my married years that was lovingly named Bertha. She was a good car. Ugly, large, but good.

Thank you, Emily, for being patient with me. I tag: Angela, Dona, Mimi, Nikki, and Nicole.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Skyler's First Hair Cut

Tonight was a big night for our little one--another milestone. After waiting as long as her poor dried out frizzy hair could wait, our two year old finally got her first hair cut. It was a trim, really, but took some effort to get all the layers into one straight cut. It was kind of fun to be together and make a "beauty shop" moment of it all, but how bitter-sweet to cut off those little baby hairs and realize she's not a baby anymore. This has been a week of milestones--we accomplished potty-training. She went to church Wednesday night in big girl panties and came home all dry--a pretty big accomplishment for a 27 month old. But I still hang on to every ounce of baby girl I can. Sooner than I'd like she'll be all grown up. This is just the beginning! :)

Saving Your Child's Life

Sunday morning I had the scariest mommy moment yet!!!

Coby was running late and I was on Praise Team, so I grabbed Sky and we were off to church, leaving Daddy to meet us there as soon as he could. We got about halfway there and Skyler all at once began SCREAMING at the top of her lungs. I glanced back at her to see a look of utter terror on her face. She was inching back as far as she could in her car seat and had her little legs pulled up as close to her body as she possibly could.

The rational mom I am thought, "Oh, there must be a bug on the seat." But her screaming only accelerated.

Little did I know...

As I pulled to a stop, I began praying. This was unusual behavior for her. She generally loves the car, and whatever she saw gripped her with fear. She would not look away for anything. I put the Tahoe in park, ran around and quickly opened her door to discover

A SPIDER THE SIZE OF GOLIATH DANGLING IN FRONT OF MY BABY'S FACE!!!!

OK, so I am exaggerating a little. It was only about the size of a silver dollar. But, if you know anything about me at all, you know I am deathly afraid of spiders in any form. Regardless, the moment was at hand that I had to battle the enemy alone and save my distraught daughter's life (I think it was a garden spider, that's all).

My mind was racing. I quickly grabbed a shoe from the floor board, and jumping hysterically from one three-inch heeled foot to the other, I tried to thwack that sucker to the ground. I missed, he dangled, I tried to hit him again, and finally I succeeded in directing him to the top of the passenger seat. THWACK!!!! I thought I got him, but he wasn't on the top of the seat anymore, so he must have dropped to the seat itself--or into Skyler's bag which was sitting open in the front seat. I opened the front door and noticed a web gleaming in the morning sun. It ran from the floor board to my purse, up the diaper bag, and over the seat. I must have let him in when I opened the door at the house. But now, I thought he was back in the bag.

I proceded to empty Sky's bag carefully, shaking out each article of clothing or loose item, and then I finally dumped the whole thing out. No spider. This makes any person nervous, especially one that is afraid of spiders more than death itself. But this is my child. I MUST protect her at all costs, so I continue the search. I look all over the floor board, the seat, everywhere. No spider. Finally, as I am getting ready to close the doors and proceed to church, I LOOK UP.

AHHHHH!!!!!! I scream. Bad move, because then Skyler starts screaming. Then the spider starts running frantically and decides to descend once again IN FRONT OF SKYLER'S FACE!!!! Oh, Lord! Help me!! Send Coby here NOW!!! No such luck, but I did think to grab the diaper changing pad that was still laying on the ground and try to hit the beast outside the car. This under any normal circumstance with any calm individual would have worked, but not with me. I couldn't hit it, and even though my body was freaking out, I was trying to keep as quiet as I could so Skyler wouldn't be any more traumatized than she was already.

With this last ditch effort not working, I knew the inevitable was about to happen. I was going to have to do SOMETHING to get that spider away from my child. With all the strength I could muster, I grabbed at the spider WITH MY BARE HAND and threw as far and as hard as I could.

All was still. The wind blew calmly and I think I heard the faint sound of an old western theme song in the background.

Skyler said, "Mommy, where'd the spider go?" I reassured her that he missed his mommy and daddy and so I put him back in the grass so he could go home to eat his dinner. I had saved her, but I have to tell you, we have both woken up in the night with dreams of spiders since then. We are now trying to reinforce that spiders are our friend and that Mr. Spider just got lost.

It was quite the event...and the good news is, I beat a spider and I still made it to church in time.

Coby's Birthday

This weekend we celebrated Coby's birthday since he had to work all day on his real birthday. It was fun to surprise him with a scavenger hunt of sorts that tracked him through a "Daddy's Great Day." Then he got his Calloway irons--and needless to say, he was pretty excited!!! Skyler also got some "thematic" presents along the way. Here's some pictures of their combo-gifts: planting roses together with their new gardening tools and gloves, mowing the lawn, and playing golf. It was a lot of fun!!!

Friday, August 17, 2007

My Girl

Can I just say that Skyler is one of the most fun, most adorable, most hilarious children on the planet? This summer, even though it has been busy, has given us some great memories!!! She's explored the water a ton with swimming lessons, visits to the Y, and little trips to the splash park with her cousins. She's had a ton of fun playing dress up with her sitter Loren. And as a family, we've had a great time hanging out and enjoying each other. I'm amazed every day with how much of a big girl she's becoming. I will say, she is potty trained almost all the way. She had only one accident each the past two days, and that was at the potty--she just couldn't get her panties down fast enough!!! And she wore big girl panties ALL DAY LONG!!! What an amazing feat!! I couldn't have done it without Loren's dedication!!! And she's beginning to say and do these big girl things that seem too "big" for her little two year-three-month-old self--at least when she's awake. She still craves cuddle time and wants to be rocked to sleep, and she asks to pray and sing the night-night song as our regular routine. I love that she's still that much of a baby, and I'm not in a hurry to dismiss those moments. Isn't it great being a mom? And isn't she just cute!!!

He Loves Me...

Yesterday I was on my way home from a meeting. I was by myself, which is VERY rare, and of course my mind was racing with all the things I have to get accomplished as a mommy, a wife, an educator. All the things of my world were filling in the void.

I was in Coby's car, which has XM radio and as I scanned the channels, I stopped on a Christian station. There was nothing particularly amazing about any of the songs I heard last night, nothing particularly emotional or moving or inspirational. My mind was going--I wasn't even really paying attention to the "words" or the music for that matter. But I found myself overwhelmed by a sense of longing--a deep desire to rest, to cry, to get emotional. The Adrielle I am reasoned it away for a minute, blaming it on stress or the rythme of the music--HOW ANALYTICAL AND HOW SILLY!!! :)

As I wondered at my wondering, I said, "Lord, are you saying something to me? Am I supposed to be listening to you?" In that still, quiet nudging that is so real, so intimate, so close to my heart, so a part of my uttermost being, I heard him say, "No, I just want you to know I love you so very much."

I stopped thinking in that moment.

I stopped analyzing.

I allowed myself to be loved by my Abba. I entered worship, right there in my car, without singing a word. Without thinking about it for one second. I just let myself BE.

It was nice.

So all you sisters out there, let God love you. In the stillness of that little moment, he just desires to envelope you in his arms and let you know that you are on his mind. He loves you. PERIOD. No matter what. He knows what you need, what you desire, what makes you sad, what makes you happy. He knows, and he cares so very intimately. Rest in that today.

Monday, August 13, 2007

My Wonderful Life

Last night our family just relaxed together. After a trip to the pool with Skyler, we came home to Daddy who was just finishing up the yard. Coby started the "Wego" (Diego) sprinkler, I grabbed us some drinks, and we sat on the patio revelling at the awesomeness of our life. Our little girl was running into the water, giggling with glee at the pitter-patter of water on her little head. Milly and Bogey laid side by side gnawing on their own sticks, contented to be together doing what dogs do best. Coby and I sat there, looking at our corner lot, our baby, our dog and our cousin-dog, and thought we pretty much had every single thing we ever needed.

In my spirit I knew this weekend was the eve of big changes for Coby, even though his day today seemed somewhat "normal" as far as work was concerned. I knew last night, though, that this day was the beginning of a great commissioning for him, and a new beginning for us. What an amazing God we serve! What an awesome pleasure to enjoy the little things--a warm summer evening, locusts chirping, breeze blowing, and family spending time together--and the big things--a new position at a new job that TOTALLY fits him, a secure, "profitable" business that ministers to kids and helps them become better readers while they're at it, and the ultimate joy of being mommy and daddy to Skyler, the joy of our lives!!!!! The most important job ever, might I add!

I wonder where the next year will take us and what new adventures we will encounter. I wonder what will change and what will stay the same. I wonder so many things, but I don't wonder at the goodness of my God. I don't wonder at his faithfulness and that he longs to answer our prayers if we will just ask. I don't wonder at his purpose and his calling, if we will but only listen for his voice. Praise you, God! It is you alone. It's so humbling--I'm not worthy of all this blessing. I'm not worthy of all this promise, but you have called me your own. You have set in motion plans for my family I can't even begin to fathom, and I say that it is YOU, God. It is all for you. I say yes and AMEN to all that is good, all that is hard, all that is before us. What a blessing. What a precious blessing!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Skyler Speaks Spanish!!!!

Tonight Skyler was sitting with her Daddy in his recliner when she said, "Mommy, I sirsty. I need my dwink."

I gave her a drink from dinner at my Mom's, and it was tea, so Coby reminded me to change it. In order to persuade her that this was a good idea, he said, "Mommy, I need some water. Would you get me some water?"

So, following suit, Skyler yells, "Mommy, I need water!!! Water, please! I need AGUA!!!"

Oh my gosh! I've got the smartest kid ever!! :)

I'm here...I promise

Well. it's late and I need to go to bed, but I've been off the map for awhile, and I needed to touch base. So here goes.

My work is going well. I'm EXTREMELY busy with customers, which is a good thing, but I'm counting down the days until I don't have so many appointments. It's a REALLY nice thing that I get to choose when I want to work and when I don't. And I choose...a break. Four weeks and counting!!! I'm so blessed that I have a husband that supports me in this wonderful adventure!!!

Speaking of wonderful adventure, I have a client I've seen since last summer. To make a long story short, I knew God had me in her life for a reason. Lately I've really been pressing in, not only on an academic front, but on a personal one, as well. The beginning of the month I received an e-mail from the Waco Young Life Committee Leaders of the list of kids to pray for that were going to camp this summer. My student was one of them! Later the next week she told me she was going to this K-Life camp (Young Life camp for junior high kids). This opened a door for me to encourage her about the fun time she would have, and also provided an open door for me to tell her very skeptical mom what a great thing it was that her daughter was involved. Seeds planted, I prayed really hard for a few weeks, and when she came back from camp, she told me SHE GOT SAVED while she was there!!! The past few weeks have been one open door after another to share the goodness of the Lord with her. PRAISE GOD!!!! That's why I do what I do. I love to see a child be filled in every area of their lives. Please pray for this teen, as she is entering a very shaking time in her life and needs strong connections to faithful people that love God and love her.

We had a great time with family last weekend to celebrate Claire's first birthday. Man, time flies by so quickly. It was great being with you all, and I'm excited to celebrate many more fun birthdays to come.

Well, tomorrow I scheduled only three appointments, so it will be a semi-break, but due to Coby's new job (he just got a promotion in his NEW job to sales rep for the Waco area) we're quickly running out of room for two businesses, one family, and a ton of stocked items for his business, so we're meeting with our realtor tomorrow to look at our expansion/new home purchasing options for the near future. Should be fun!!! What a precious adventure!! I love my life!!!

I love you all so much! What a treasure to be surrounded by so much love, joy, and connection. I am very blessed.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Too Busy!!!

This week has been CRAZY!!!!! Coby had to be out of town a lot for work, and I had to get ready for the Bunko party. That in itself, in addition to work, laundry (Amy, you with me?? :) ) and everything else in the world made my days long.

So here's my great epiphany...

I do things the hard way.

My house, having little to no counter space, needed more kitchen counters/cabinets, so I decided this week would be the best time to get an island for my little kitchen, before the party on Thursday. The only deal was that it wasn't assembled. I STAYED UP UNTIL 2 A.M. putting the thing together. I also wanted valances for the kitchen. I put those up, too. I also needed to clean house, pay bills, etc. etc. etc. AHHHHH!!!!

Why do I need to do these things all in the same three days?

Because I'm ADRIELLE. My brother would be laughing at me right now.

So anyway, I got it all done and pulled off a pretty good Cuban-inspired dinner party. The girls seemed to have fun and my mojitos were a hit. But I learned a good lesson this week. It isn't about the "what," it's about the "who." I think we forget that too often. In all the doing, I lacked down time with my husband, didn't play with Skyler too much, and couldn't help my brother move into his house until today. I know that some weeks are just like that and that I shouldn't beat myself up about it or anything, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. I really like hanging out with Coby, and tonight, as I played with Skyler on the floor at Poppy and Gibbie's house, I thought, "I sure am glad that THIS is what I live for--not all the stuff." I plan on taking more time with my family next week, and I think busy weeks like this remind me to be sensitive to what is most important. They keep me grounded, reflective because all the "doing" in the world just doesn't cut it for me. I have to have Coby and Skyler. I have to connect with my family. I have to invest in what is most precious. God, help me to appreciate every moment, and in the midst of those times where Time isn't on my side, help me to always remember what is most important.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Why??

"Why?"

I've always been chained to this word, reaching and grasping for the fleeting answer to this horrible question. Tonight is one of those nights, and I still wonder. My Pop passed away last Saturday at the age of 96, and anyone would say, "What a wonderful thing to live so long and to have the opportunity to experience so many things!!" I agree. But not everyone gets to be 96 when they die, and not everyone, especially my Memo, think it's such a "wonderful thing." So I'm posed with my returning, ever-present "why" question: Why did my dad have to go first, then his dad, and FINALLY my great-grandpa? Where is the justice in that? And as the years go by, and his memory fades a little more in everyone's mind but mine, why is that fair in God's eyes? And as I watch my mom fall in love more and more with another man, regardless of how great he is, why is that deemed as justice? Maybe justice for her, but what about me, Gabe, and Raschael? Why is it even possible that he'll never know his grandchildren or have a kid-given title? Why is it even possible that he can't experience things in our lives like Gabe's new house or worst of all, that he can't experience getting to walk Raschael down the aisle next month? Why?

Maybe if they had been divorced it would have been easier to watch my mom suffer, just because I would know she could "put him behind her" so much better if he had been a jerk or an adulterer or abusive or any other thing on the planet besides kind, cheerful, generous, compassionate, tender-hearted, and long-suffering. Maybe if they'd been divorced it would be easier for me to imagine that place in Mom's heart being filled by someone else. Maybe if we'd been separated from him over more time or with less pain and suffering it would be easier to piece together what used to be our family. But I'll never know. I'll never be able to ask questions I always wanted answers for, or sit on the couch and sing together, or hold his hand just because. And I'll never, ever know what could have been. When does it get easier, and why do I have to feel this way at all? Sometimes it's just too much to think about--too much to justify.

So I take a look at the novel of my life in its latent, "first-draft" state. I wonder where I'm at and look at my life, gazing thoughtfully at the details of every page. Nights like tonight when I reflect make me wonder about tomorrow. Am I invested properly? Will I get 47 years or 96? Will I be finished on earth, or will I have all these open chapters with no endings? Will I have regrets, and will the people I love share those regrets, always asking why they never got resolved, or talked about, or even brought up at all? Will there be things left undone? Will I have wounded or healed? Will I have helped or hurt? Will I have left a legacy? Will my memory be enough to last a lifetime or just a few years? Will it matter...or not?

I won't forget. I've even tried, and it doesn't work. I miss you, Daddy! I want you here with me so bad it hurts! Not just for me, but for your family and everyone who loves you. I'm not ready to put your memory aside or away or on a back shelf. So many days I don't want to wait for heaven, and some days it's just hard to watch everything around me change in ways I never expected it to. What would it have been like to have you here today? What would be different, and what would have never changed?

Why?

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Our Anniversary

Last night Coby and I celebrated our anniversary by going to Temple to try out an Italian restaurant we heard about, Pignetti's. It was super good, and we had a very relaxing evening. Although our waiter was new, I think. He seemed really nervous.

Mom and Ray wanted Skyler to come stay the night, so I'm blogging at 8:30 in the morning in my PJ's. AWESOME!!! Skyler's cutting four molars, so she's been up at night a lot the past few weeks. Last night I slept through the night--sooooo wonderful!! I hope Mom wasn't up much! :) It's amazing how much you appreciate the little things once you have kids, but I already miss my little Sky, so I'll probably go get her soon.

I digress. All in all, a great night. And how awesome that I've been married eight years. It just seems like yesterday I was walking down the aisle, doesn't it!! Mom and Ray, celebrating newly married bliss, blessed us with an anniversary present and sweet card. I couldn't help but reflect on how different our lives are now compared to how they were seven years ago. I love that we have a God of second chances. It is great to see my mom so happy and content, and watch her and Ray grow more in love with each other. I think we all know that it took me some time to get used to the idea, but I always wanted Mom to know love again. I think our lives are meant to love. Whether we're married 25 years or 70-something like my great-grandparents, it is a treasure to be married. Ray is a blessing to our family, and I'm thankful for their love.

Coby and I are doing a little marriage enrichment summer dating series at church, and it's been so neat to see how much we KNOW each other. Our date was more evidence of this. Last night, we were finishing each other's sentences and thinking the same thoughts. I'm tearful even now thinking of the blessing he is to my life. I can't imagine walking through life without him. Thank you, God, for eight years to love him, and many, many more to come!!!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Prayer Time

Today was a busy summer day with Read Smart kids, and after I got finished working, Skyler and I went to look for bridesmaid dresses with Raschael. I wouldn't say it was fun. Not because I wasn't glad to spend time with my sisters and other bridesmaids, but because Skyler did NOT want to be there, and of course a disgruntled child in the store at any time isn't pleasant for anyone. Not to mention that every bridesmaid dress out there now shows cleavage down to your belly button!! Hello!! I have a child!! I can't DO dresses like that anymore!!!

So when we got home, had dinner, and watched our traditional "Dora the Explorer" for the night, Skyler and I went on to her room. We practiced our letter sounds as we read the colors, then put the book down to thank Jesus for our day.

I told her we needed to close our eyes, and Skyler said, "Mommy, I wanna talk."

"Ok. What do you want to talk about?"

"Daddy in da udder room?"

"Yes, Honey."

"And Beeboo? Beeboo funny! He lay on da ground, and then he go ha - ha - ha."

"Silly Beeboo!"

"Silly Beeboo!"

"OK, Sky. Let's pray. Close your eyes and fold your hands."

With this she folds her little hands around her "bank" and squints her eyes. I think she's checking to make sure I'm closing my eyes.

"Dear Jesus..."

"Dear Jesus..."

"Thank you for my..."

"Food!"

"Yes, Honey! That's good! Thank you, God, for giving us food to eat..."

"Iye keem (ice cream)"

"Mmmm... Yummy! What else?"

"And gah-gog (hot dog), and cheese, and bananas, and chicken, and fe fies (french fries)..."

"Good! And, God..."

"God..."

"Thank you for Mommy..."

"Mommy, and Daddy, and Beeboo, and Milly"

"Thank you for school..."

"And my friends..."

"Yes! And Jesus..."

"Jesus..."

"Keep me safe..."

"Safe..."

"And put angels in my room..."

"Angels in my room..."

"And help me have a good day tomorrow. In Jesus Name I Pray..."

"Aaaaamen!!!!"

I tell you, that prayer made all my frustrations of the afternoon melt away. And she kept her eyes closed the whole time!!!! What an awesome little girl! I am so blessed to have her. Sometimes it seems so hard, but I'm learning more and more that if I will take the time to "talk," or sit still, or play, or do anything else other than keep up with the busyness of the day, my relationship with her gets all the more special, all the more solid. I know I'll never learn it all, but I'm thankful for little moments like this to soften my heart and help me realize my treasures.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Bunko

Tonight I went to my Bunko group and had a blast. The host had an amazing house and an even more amazing menu. Kudos to Julie. I have to admit, though, that I'm a little nervous about hosting next month. I LOVE my house, decor, etc. but it is always hard for me not to compare myself with the Jones', you know what I mean? These gals get together to visit with one another and have fun--we all could care less about each other's houses, but I still find myself thinking/comparing/ wanting more. I realized, though, that the conversations and bonds I have with these friends is all that really matters. THAT is what is precious, not how much my house costs or if I'll have enough room for all 12 of us. Anyhoo, I'm just thankful I am surrounded by such great people and have a house at all. How blessed I am!!! So I take my 1600 square foot mansion and two outdoor living areas, side-walk chalked carport, and loyal dog Bogey and call it my little piece of HEAVEN! :)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Precious Skyler

Some of the most precious times of my life are little moments with my Sky. Today she was exceptionally loving and made it a point to tell me how much she wanted to hold me, including asking me to sit with her to watch Dora and play with her babies. Yesterday we wrestled on the couch and danced around the living room as we watched Happy Feet. It is so amazing being a mom. And these precious moments are so fleeting. I spent some time with my friend Jenny today registering for baby things and thought fondly of the times I did that. Amazing. Skyler is already TWO!!!! Time goes by quickly, and before we know it, it's gone.

So as I journey with her, I choose to hold on to those precious things...like coming in the door and watching her face light up, or hearing her say, "Bye, mom! I see you when you done working!!!" or "I go potty now!!!" YES!!!!! Even her two-year-old outbursts of frustration are funny. Last night I started praying at the dinner table and she said, "Stop it Jesus!!!" I don't know if she just wanted to pray or if she wanted me to stop praying so she could eat, but either way it was HILARIOUS!!! Coby and I tried not to laugh.

What a joy!!! Thank you, God, for the privilege of children!!!

What a novel idea!!!

So, I've had a million and four students say this whole blogging thing is sooooo cool. Being the "sophisticated, mature" adult that I am, however, I was always a little leery. But, if my nearest and dearest have one, why don't I? I do believe a blog, of which I am now introduced, can be a huge asset to my world.

What a great idea to share your life, all on one page, and let those who will take a gander. A novel idea!!!! This is awesome to catch up, share, inspire, be totally real, and keep in touch.

To my family... here's me. You know me the very best anyway, and this is a great way to share the little day-to-day details that might get left out in the hustle and bustle of our lives. SISTERS OF 'O', YOU ARE AMONG MY FAMILY. This is a great way for me to be a part of your world, too. So are you in?? :) More specific O-Side blogging to come!!!!

To my friends...thank you for visiting! We'll see how this goes!