Spirit-Led Parenting

I am very grateful that I had parents that were spirit-filled believers growing up. My mom and dad weren't in the "hype" of any movement, nor did they go to extremes in most any direction. But they did believe and teach me the importance of the Holy Spirit, who He is, how Jesus was my savior, and that my utter dependance was on God my Father alone. It was a good, firm, solid foundation, one which stood the test of time and much questioning as I grew into a pre-teen, teenager, and then young adult. I will say that for me, living on what my parents said was never enough; I had to experience God and the multiple facets of his person for myself. But I'm very thankful that when I read the scripture, "Ask and these things will be given to you," I took them literally in the context of figuring out this abstract, hard-to-describe God and the relationship He wanted me to have with him. I have always been one to cry out to God to reveal himself to me, starting very young, and I have never been disappointed.

Now as a parent, I'm experiencing a new facet of my sweet Abba Father that is taking me a little while to work through. From what I'm told, it will take a lifetime of learning. The new experience for me is understanding the in's and out's of what a true, loving parent is to their children. My standard is my God. My example is my heavenly Father. Should I strive to love my children as God loves me? By all means, and yet to even begin is to fail miserably. How can I love Skyler and my little Popcorn with a fraction of the love He has for me? How can I train and teach...how can I measure up?

I guess truth be told, I can't. BUT, I can try. I can let my motivation and my inspiration be to please my Father in heaven with the way I train up my children here on earth. And am I ever thankful that I have his grace!!!

Quite an introduction to a fairly short story, but a poignant one I feel at the place I and many of you probably are in your lives right now. Last week I had my first true spiritual test in Spirit-Led Parenting. Skyler has been struggling with a lot of fear lately, to the point that it had become almost immobilizing for her. She wouldn't even go in her room to play by herself.

On one particular morning, she was following me around the house pretty panic-stricken while I was trying to get some things picked up. I realized she was really struggling and sat her down for a conversation.

"Skyler, why do you want me to hold you right now? Why don't you want to play."

And in her biggest, bravest 2 1/2 year old voice, she said, "Mommy, I just need to hold you."

"I know, Skyler, but why?"

At this point she couldn't be brave any longer and burst into big tears...

"Mommy, I'm just very afraid!"

I saw a little Adrielle in those big, brown eyes and remembered times when I was small and very afraid. Fear was (and still is) a very hard thing for me to get over. It was difficult for me to separate real from fake at times, and even harder to get over the fears of my mind, however unjustified. I suffered with some serious paranoias as a child and pre-teen, and I was very thankful that in addition to seeing some helpful doctors, I had parents that prayed me through those times and taught me that I had victory over the Enemy. My parents instructed me how to pray and what to do when fear overwhelmed me. And now, as a Mommy, it was my turn.

I began to panic. I have always believed very firmly that dismissing fear is wrong. Fear is a real emotion and I never want my children to feel like I don't believe them or that their thoughts, feelings, or emotions are not justified. However, I want to always keep their focus on God's plan for us as believers to overcome these things. But God, what do you say to a two year old? How can I explain all these things? What is important for her to know and not know? Will she understand?

I said a quick prayer and immediately began trying to explain to her that she is safe. God gave her a mommy and daddy to take care of her, and even if she is away from her mommy and daddy, Jesus will protect her. Through a series of Skyler's questions, I felt like I needed to explain that fear comes from the Devil, but that he's just a "little guy" (she associates intimidation with the BIG GUYS of the world right now) and that he was like a little ant. She could just squash him. I quickly realized this was a bad analogy.

"Mommy, I don't want to squash the ant. I don't want to step on him."

LORD!!! "Ok, Skyler, you don't have to." Let's see...

All of a sudden it hit me the importance of KNOWING WHAT I BELIEVE and exactly WHY. My child was looking to me for comfort. I want her to find comfort in me, but more than that, I want her comfort to be in the Lord. I began to over-analyze, trying desperately to find a way to explain.

Then Sky said the most simple, profound, true words of longing, words that could have been spoken from my very mouth in that very moment...

"Mommy, I just want to step on Jesus and I need him to hold me! I want Jesus to hold me!"

I quietly chuckled and saw in my mind's eye my sweet child stepping 'on' Jesus just long enough to reach for his hands as he swept her in his arms and held her tight.

"He can hold you, Skyler, each and every time you're afraid. You may not feel his arms around you like Mommy's arms, but you'll feel him inside when you feel safe. Any time you're afraid, tell Jesus to hold you and he will come."

That's it. It's not complicated or intricate, just a fact, only truly understood when we have the faith of a child.

We went throughout the next few days calling on Jesus to keep us safe, and I'll have to say, it is working. Her level of fear has gone down dramatically, and her demeanor is more peaceful.

And what did I take away from this moment? I'm still a little child, in need of my Savior, in need of my Abba for answers, for peace, and for comfort. In the midst of my very hard emotional days of late, I can just let Jesus hold me.

I want to learn to hear the spirit. I want to be led in training up my children. I don't want that responsibility all on my own. It's good to know I don't have to carry that burden; Jesus can carry me.

Not much in life truly changes, does it?