So, I started this week a little disappointed. I wasn't able to get those darn taxes finished last week due to a HUGELY busy day on Thursday, a full client load on Friday, and family time/hosting a shower on Saturday. Sunday was busy with church, visiting with our future part-time nanny, looking at a house, and visiting with Poppie and Gibbie (such a fun, relaxing visit!!). All in all, it was a good time but not one that lent itself to time in front of the computer.
So, I know, this is boring, but it's going somewhere.
I woke up at 4:30 Monday morning so discouraged and frustrated!!! ARGH!!!! I prayed, "Lord, am I ever going to get anything done?" In the quietness of the moment, God reminded me of what Pastor Barry said in church the morning before about discouragement. He said, "If you're discouraged, it's because you've chosen to be in that place. God has something better." It was a good reminder--I whispered, "OK, Lord, I want my day to be your day. You take every single moment and make it what it needs to be. I need to finish taxes and handle a dozen things for work, and I'm not sure how I'm going to fit it all in and be super-mom."
I rolled over and surprisingly fell back to sleep...at peace.
When I woke up at 7:00, I started working away. I decided not to go to bible study, which was a HUGE sacrifice for me, and tried to focus. It was a battle at first. My flesh certainly wanted to win and I felt like pouting, being frustrated, and throwing in the towel. Was all this sacrifice worth it? I felt that little voice inside again--"Turn on praise music." So I did, and you know what? As usual, my whole demeanor and the mood of my house was instantly transformed. Skyler contentedly played by herself, occasionally telling me of the great adventures she was having taking care of her babies and "cooking dinner." She colored me a picture, helped me throw out some old paperwork, and danced around the house humming along to the music in the next room.
Before I knew it we were winding down for nap time. I had taken care of ALL of my responsibilities for work and was mostly finished with my taxes and it wasn't even 2:00. As I laid there with Skyler, I thanked God for this precious moment to cuddle with my little one and rested for a few minutes.
I got up to prepare for my clients that evening...three appointments, all starting at 4:30. As I got ready, one call after another came in from my clients needing to reschedule--I had a TOTALLY free evening at the very last minute!!!
At first, in the flesh, I thought, "Lord, I'm prepared to work! What's the deal?" And then that little voice again..."What about some family time?" I had some other things I wanted to do, but in that moment I knew I was right where I needed to be. I called Coby and we quickly made a plan.
Instead of working like any other Monday night, I had the awesome privilege of watching my child play with her dad at Jumping Party. Then we ate dinner as a family and I was able to tuck my almost three year old into bed, softly singing her to sleep. All in all, it was a perfect day. Not at all what I expected, but every bit what I needed.
Thank you, Father, for taking us to the end of ourselves and showing us what really matters. Thank you for stopping the clamour and distraction of our lives and working your will in our days and weeks--in our every moment. Thank you, God, that I chose to listen to you.
And thank you for helping me finish my taxes! :)
2 comments:
yay!! taxes are the pits, but it always feels so good to be finished with them! you are looking so cute! thanks for the encouraging post--i have been in complainy mode for the past couple of days so this was good for me!
What a fresh and life-giving word Adrielle. Thank you for sharing your heart, your struggle, and the victory God was so faithful to give. Loved this entry so much!
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