My EYES!!!

Tonight we ventured out to our first Baylor basketball game of the season with Coby's parents. It was very exciting, and although we lost, those Bears gave it a good fight!!!

The game started at 8:00, which, needless to say, means Skyler started the night pretty tired. But, she was all about the game. She "Sic 'em Bears!!" a few times, crawled all over us, and even jumped up and down like a mad woman on my lap for the last five minutes of the game. She said, "This was very fun, Mommy!" and gave an approving drowsy nod as we went to the car.

We sat...and sat...and sat for a long while in line waiting for our turn to leave the parking lot. Skyler was watching A Bug's Life in the back and all of a sudden got frustrated.

"Mommy!" she said. "I can't close my eyes!!!" Bless her heart, she was so torn between the movie and sleep, and her eye muscles were so tired from trying to stay open that I literally think they were frozen in place. Finally after a few minutes of her whining annoyance, I said, "Skyler, it's okay to close your eyes. You can still hear the movie."

"Ok, Mommy."

Within seconds she was asleep. That girl of mine!! She sure is hillarious!! :)

Spirit-Led Parenting

I am very grateful that I had parents that were spirit-filled believers growing up. My mom and dad weren't in the "hype" of any movement, nor did they go to extremes in most any direction. But they did believe and teach me the importance of the Holy Spirit, who He is, how Jesus was my savior, and that my utter dependance was on God my Father alone. It was a good, firm, solid foundation, one which stood the test of time and much questioning as I grew into a pre-teen, teenager, and then young adult. I will say that for me, living on what my parents said was never enough; I had to experience God and the multiple facets of his person for myself. But I'm very thankful that when I read the scripture, "Ask and these things will be given to you," I took them literally in the context of figuring out this abstract, hard-to-describe God and the relationship He wanted me to have with him. I have always been one to cry out to God to reveal himself to me, starting very young, and I have never been disappointed.

Now as a parent, I'm experiencing a new facet of my sweet Abba Father that is taking me a little while to work through. From what I'm told, it will take a lifetime of learning. The new experience for me is understanding the in's and out's of what a true, loving parent is to their children. My standard is my God. My example is my heavenly Father. Should I strive to love my children as God loves me? By all means, and yet to even begin is to fail miserably. How can I love Skyler and my little Popcorn with a fraction of the love He has for me? How can I train and teach...how can I measure up?

I guess truth be told, I can't. BUT, I can try. I can let my motivation and my inspiration be to please my Father in heaven with the way I train up my children here on earth. And am I ever thankful that I have his grace!!!

Quite an introduction to a fairly short story, but a poignant one I feel at the place I and many of you probably are in your lives right now. Last week I had my first true spiritual test in Spirit-Led Parenting. Skyler has been struggling with a lot of fear lately, to the point that it had become almost immobilizing for her. She wouldn't even go in her room to play by herself.

On one particular morning, she was following me around the house pretty panic-stricken while I was trying to get some things picked up. I realized she was really struggling and sat her down for a conversation.

"Skyler, why do you want me to hold you right now? Why don't you want to play."

And in her biggest, bravest 2 1/2 year old voice, she said, "Mommy, I just need to hold you."

"I know, Skyler, but why?"

At this point she couldn't be brave any longer and burst into big tears...

"Mommy, I'm just very afraid!"

I saw a little Adrielle in those big, brown eyes and remembered times when I was small and very afraid. Fear was (and still is) a very hard thing for me to get over. It was difficult for me to separate real from fake at times, and even harder to get over the fears of my mind, however unjustified. I suffered with some serious paranoias as a child and pre-teen, and I was very thankful that in addition to seeing some helpful doctors, I had parents that prayed me through those times and taught me that I had victory over the Enemy. My parents instructed me how to pray and what to do when fear overwhelmed me. And now, as a Mommy, it was my turn.

I began to panic. I have always believed very firmly that dismissing fear is wrong. Fear is a real emotion and I never want my children to feel like I don't believe them or that their thoughts, feelings, or emotions are not justified. However, I want to always keep their focus on God's plan for us as believers to overcome these things. But God, what do you say to a two year old? How can I explain all these things? What is important for her to know and not know? Will she understand?

I said a quick prayer and immediately began trying to explain to her that she is safe. God gave her a mommy and daddy to take care of her, and even if she is away from her mommy and daddy, Jesus will protect her. Through a series of Skyler's questions, I felt like I needed to explain that fear comes from the Devil, but that he's just a "little guy" (she associates intimidation with the BIG GUYS of the world right now) and that he was like a little ant. She could just squash him. I quickly realized this was a bad analogy.

"Mommy, I don't want to squash the ant. I don't want to step on him."

LORD!!! "Ok, Skyler, you don't have to." Let's see...

All of a sudden it hit me the importance of KNOWING WHAT I BELIEVE and exactly WHY. My child was looking to me for comfort. I want her to find comfort in me, but more than that, I want her comfort to be in the Lord. I began to over-analyze, trying desperately to find a way to explain.

Then Sky said the most simple, profound, true words of longing, words that could have been spoken from my very mouth in that very moment...

"Mommy, I just want to step on Jesus and I need him to hold me! I want Jesus to hold me!"

I quietly chuckled and saw in my mind's eye my sweet child stepping 'on' Jesus just long enough to reach for his hands as he swept her in his arms and held her tight.

"He can hold you, Skyler, each and every time you're afraid. You may not feel his arms around you like Mommy's arms, but you'll feel him inside when you feel safe. Any time you're afraid, tell Jesus to hold you and he will come."

That's it. It's not complicated or intricate, just a fact, only truly understood when we have the faith of a child.

We went throughout the next few days calling on Jesus to keep us safe, and I'll have to say, it is working. Her level of fear has gone down dramatically, and her demeanor is more peaceful.

And what did I take away from this moment? I'm still a little child, in need of my Savior, in need of my Abba for answers, for peace, and for comfort. In the midst of my very hard emotional days of late, I can just let Jesus hold me.

I want to learn to hear the spirit. I want to be led in training up my children. I don't want that responsibility all on my own. It's good to know I don't have to carry that burden; Jesus can carry me.

Not much in life truly changes, does it?

Halloween Fun

It is so much fun celebrating the seasons with cousins!!! We made a trip up to Flower Mound to Trunk or Treat with Coby's sister and her family, and then went to visit the Original Pumpkin Patch the next day. It was a blast, even though I was nauseous a lot of the time. The kids had a fun time together, and it was neat watching Skyler and Cooper get into it all for the first time and somewhat understand what we were doing. Well, at least they understood the candy part!!!! :) Their matching Jessie and Woody costumes were a hit. Then on Halloween we got together with my brother and his family to eat hot dogs and go to the Fall Festival at Highland. It was very crowded, but I was glad we could have a one-stop-shop to entertain ourselves. Skyler got her first face painting, a pumpkin, which she still reminds me of often. Such fun memories!!!!!

(Sorry the pictures are all out of order. I tried, but I'm still not a pro at this picture inserting stuff.)

My 30th Birthday

Family is an important thing to me.

I guess it always has been, but I think it is even more important to me as I get older and see all the amazing quiltwork of our lives unfold, both physically and spiritually.

In the personal patchwork of my own life, I was able to add a few "quiltblocks" this weekend. I had a wonderful time sharing with my best friends in the whole world over lunch at Panera, and I actually felt good enough to eat the whole lunch!! Major accomplishment for this prego. Then I had a blast watching my daughter play with all her cousins in the backyard that night and spent the day today with Coby's family just hanging out and being together.

Then tonight, my wonderful Mommy orchestrated a surprise party for me!!! Bless her heart, she had already planned it at a restaurant, but after knowing my desire to just hang out at her house, changed the plans with her husband Ray's help. (Amazing hamburgers, Ray!!!) It was a wonderful surprise with all the people I love and cherish the very most...my family. My mom, siblings, Coby's family, and my best friends. It really, truly was the best!!!

Thank you for coming this weekend everyone! Thank you for blessing me so much with your life, your time, your love, your prayers!!! Raschael, thank you for watching my girl on Saturday and Mom, thank you for making my night so special!!! Thanks Powells, Waters, and Kavalich's for making the trip!! It means a lot to me that you would do that...just for me!

I love you guys!!! I'm excited to keep working on my quilt with you all along the way!

Our Little Popcorn

So my visit at the doctor last Wednesday was great. I was able to see the little heartbeat on the monitor and get all the measurements...only to discover I'm only 8 weeks pregnant. Oh well. And I wanted Skyler and her brother or sister to be close in age, but I wasn't expecting a due date of MAY 26th!!! The day AFTER Skyler turns three!!!! Hopefully this little one will come nine days early like Skyler did!!! :)

Skyler's Latest Funny

The other day, Skyler was sitting next to Coby and me. She all of a sudden stopped what she was saying, looked at me, and said,

"Mommy, I tooted in my mouth!!"

Oh MY GOSH!!!! I nearly fell over. I said, "Did a burp just sneak up on you?" She said, "Yea! That's funny!"

Kids!

We're Having A BABY!!! (and a re-cap of the last 2 months)

So, FINALLY, here's the big news!!! We're having baby number two!!! YEA!!!!!! Skyler is ecstatic about the chance to be a big sister, and we're glad to oblige! :) I apologize for not blogging in so long...again. This time it has been legitimate. I couldn't blog for awhile because I didn't want any of the Waco crew to give it away to those who didn't know yet that were out of town. And, as par for MY course with babies, it's been puke city!!! :) I didn't start getting sick until I was around 7 weeks (I think--my first pre-natal visit isn't until tomorrow, so we'll know how far along I am for sure then), which was a two week reprieve from when it all started with Skyler.

I would definitely say this pregnancy thing is much harder with a toddler. I'm so much more emotional than before and realize with all that is in me that it's not about me--it's about meeting her needs first. She's been a real trooper, though. Yesterday was pretty good for me, but after our outings to gymnastics and two stores, I was pretty much pooped. I walked in the house and tried to convince her to lay on my bed with me to take a nap, but she just wanted to play. So, in spite of myself and at a loss to know what else to do, I started a Dora and laid on the couch. Pretty soon, she came up to me and rubbed my arm, saying, "You wokay, Mommy." Then she wanted to get up on the couch with me and we quickly fell asleep side by side for about an hour. It was a little piece of mommy heaven, and exactly what I needed in that moment. I truly believe she knew in her little heart what to do to make me feel better. It's a moment I'll treasure for the rest of my life.

So my days pretty much consist of existing until it's time for work. Then I work a few hours and crash early. And even though the nausea and vomiting have been a bummer, I know it is only for a short while. It's a blessing to have another baby on the way, and I'm so thankful that God has given us this opportunity. I am so incredibly blessed beyond what I deserve, and I know it. I just need to remember this very clear fact when I feel so sick. Oh well!!! :)

Other things we've done the past few months in reverse order:

At the end of August we made a trip to Dallas to hang out with our cousins and Skyler made her first Build-A-Bear. It was a smashing hit, and we had SOOOOO much fun playing with aunts, uncles, and cousins!!! She named this bear Krystal the Baylor Bear--appropriately so, don't you think!??

We also went to Skyler's second Baylor game of the season with my friend Tracy, and Skyler had an outing to the zoo with our neighbor Megan and her Mom and new little sister Rebecca. I'm trying to download pix, but the blogger is being difficult, so I'll post them a little later.

All in all, it's been a fun, exciting, and exremely nauseating adventure!! WOOOHOOOOO!!! Skyler swears there's twins in there, and Sassy mentioned the same thing. I guess we'll find out tomorrow. Please keep us all in your prayers through this time. It's been full of memories, but very difficult, and I need grace. Coby is awesome--as usual a wonderful dad and husband. I honestly could not ask for a better parter to walk with on this journey through life. And I will blog as often as I can. Watching the screen makes me a little motion sick, though, so that's all for now. I love you, fellow sisters, friends, and bloggers!!! Thank you for loving me back!!!