Another Mother's Joy

I frequently visit a blog of a lady I do not know but love to "love." She writes from the heart, and I understand her so very well.

I have begun yet another week nauseated and annoyed at feeling so bad so much of the time. It has gotten better, don't get me wrong, but I think my patience is running thin and my endurance is lagging. Reading this blog of her's tonight made me smile and made me remember what all this is for in the long run.

Thanks, Antique Mommy!

Taken from her blog entry, "Bucket of Love"

Wednesday it was cold and damp and rainy. Everything, including my mood was gray, as though someone had pulled the plugged and drained all the color out of my world.
As I’m driving Sean to school, the noise of tires swooshing through the water and the rhythemic scrape and skritch of my windshield wipers are the only sound in the car.
I pull up to a stop light and look in the rearview mirror at that little boy, snuggled into his car seat. He is thoughtfully tracing the path of a raindrop with his finger on the window. For some reason, the profile of his face peeking out from the hood of his coat is so sweet that it pricks my heart. I feel my heart swell and my eyes begin to sting with tears. He doesn’t know that I am watching him.
“Sean,” I hear myself say, “I love you so much, so much more than you can even imagine. I know you are only four and you can’t really understand that.”
“Oh,” he says quietly without diverting his gaze from the window. “I understand.”
After a long pause, he asks, “Does Daddy love me too?”
He knows his daddy loves him. I’m not sure why he is asking this question.
“Oh yes, Sean, Daddy loves you so much that sometimes it makes him cry.”
“Oh.”
Long pause. I can see him thinking.
“Does Daddy love me more than you?”
This time the long pause belongs to me.
“Well, Sean, things like love and pain are not really quantifiable. Daddy loves me from the wife bucket and he loves you from the little boy bucket. And those buckets are bottomless and always overflowing.”
“Oh.”
Long pause.
“Well if you get a hole in your bucket,” he said, “then I will give you some love from my bucket.”
Sometimes the things he says, makes my brain stop. Makes my heart stop. Makes my world stop.
Just then the car behind me is honking loudly and angrily. The light had turned green. The tears that had gathered in my eyes quickly evaporate.
I pushed on the gas and moved forward into the world of gray, except for the very bright spot of sunshine that is sitting in my backseat tracing a raindrop with his finger.

My EYES!!!

Tonight we ventured out to our first Baylor basketball game of the season with Coby's parents. It was very exciting, and although we lost, those Bears gave it a good fight!!!

The game started at 8:00, which, needless to say, means Skyler started the night pretty tired. But, she was all about the game. She "Sic 'em Bears!!" a few times, crawled all over us, and even jumped up and down like a mad woman on my lap for the last five minutes of the game. She said, "This was very fun, Mommy!" and gave an approving drowsy nod as we went to the car.

We sat...and sat...and sat for a long while in line waiting for our turn to leave the parking lot. Skyler was watching A Bug's Life in the back and all of a sudden got frustrated.

"Mommy!" she said. "I can't close my eyes!!!" Bless her heart, she was so torn between the movie and sleep, and her eye muscles were so tired from trying to stay open that I literally think they were frozen in place. Finally after a few minutes of her whining annoyance, I said, "Skyler, it's okay to close your eyes. You can still hear the movie."

"Ok, Mommy."

Within seconds she was asleep. That girl of mine!! She sure is hillarious!! :)